“I can’t imagine my life without the ocean. It’s a beautiful place to be, and it’s a beautiful place to die.” – Shirley Bond
Having experienced two near-drownings, I've come to realize how scary yet humbling the sea can be. Every time I stand on the beach, ready to enter the water, I’m confronted by doubts: I can’t do this… I am not going to make it out… How can I call myself an ocean person if I can’t even manage a simple shore entry? Then, I remind myself to take it one wave at a time.
My name is Shirley, and this is my story.
Almost drowning changes you. My mind has a reflexive trigger when a big set of waves approaches while I’m in the water. I vividly remember my second near-drowning experience at Nahoon Beach five years ago. It happened so quickly, and no one even noticed, but time stood still for me. I can still feel that moment, that fear is still stored in my body.
Breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, and going into the water with someone watching over me have been ways I slowly release that fear. Even though I focus on my breathing, there are times when it feels like my respiratory system shuts down. If I see a wave getting bigger and bigger, fear hits in.
My first drowning experience was scuba diving at a quarry. I wasn't listening to my body that day. I felt down. I forgot my mask and borrowed someone else’s, which was too big for me, my first mistake. While diving, the temperature changed significantly, going from hot to cold very quickly, and vice versa. We were about 30 meters deep, and without realizing it, I was biting down on my regulator mouthpiece. Eventually, I bit through it, and my regulator flew out of my mouth, knocking my mask off. Panic set in. I couldn’t focus because I was tired and cold. It happened so quickly yet felt so slow. I vaguely remember the events, but I do remember the sensation of my body going into overdrive while my mind and soul became calm and at peace at some point. I was blacking out when someone guided me to the surface.
Fast forward to Nahoon Beach again. It was a beautiful day, and the beach was crowded with surfers. The water was clear. I took out my fins and camera and swam with my husband, Darren, to the backline, where I spent 45 minutes taking photos. I absolutely love being in the water, feeling one with the ocean. When my camera battery died, I decided to head back to shore. I told him I’d be fine and he should continue surfing. I'm so glad he decided to paddle back with me to ensure I got up safely because everything went downhill from there. I got caught in a rip current and ended up in the break zone. Eventually, my body got tired. I knew I had to do something because this was going to end badly. So, I tried swimming back out through the waves to float in the backline so Darren could reach me on his board. But sets started coming in with short intervals. They were powerful and big. Darren got dumped as well while trying to pass me his board, but there was always a wave between us.
Every time I tried to breathe, a wave would hit, and I’d be tossed around underwater, the tumble dryer effect, desperately trying to reach the surface for air before the next wave came crashing down. I was swallowing too much water, and I felt like I was done. Panic hit again. Even though I managed to get my face above water, I couldn’t breathe. My airway locked, after hyperventilating. I still clearly remember the words and tone in which I said, “I’m not going to make it…” to him. After a bit of struggle, Darren managed to get me onto his board. I started feeling dizzy and spaced out. Eventually, I got out, and I felt so embarrassed. There were so many people on the beach, but I eventually noticed everyone was going about their day, and no one saw what happened. In a way, I was relieved. Then it hit me—if Darren hadn’t paddled out with me, my body would've washed up on the sand right then and there.
It's a process, years of trying to fight through it, but I’m getting there, slowly. I know my limits now, and I love the ocean even more than I ever have. I always have a saying, "if you look after the ocean, the ocean will look after you." She has taught me a lot, and I believe I had to go through these experiences to grow me as an ocean person.
So today, on Drowning Prevention Day, I want to emphasize the importance of getting comfortable in the water and being prepared for any situation. Joining the NSRI as a volunteer is a great way to save lives around the South African coastline and to learn a lot about yourself too.
I’m excited to share my story through this short film, where I show how I slowly work through my fear each day while bringing you closer to the ocean and helping people connect with, understand, and protect it.